Untitled (this is not a circle) 2015
01:14

Untitled (this is not a circle) 2015

When I think about my perception, I embrace its negative space, the impossibility for me to perceive the world as I used to before my car accident. The gap between what I see or don’t see, the transitional phenomena between the emotional body and external reality, that reoccurred the first time I was able to align my vision after the car accident. I didn’t have the orbit of my left eye reconstructed until the third surgery. My eye was still adjusting to its new space during the months of rehabilitation following the accident. I talked to “Him” (because in Spanish “eye” is gendered male) to encourage him while I practiced coordination, accuracy, accommodation, and mobility exercises to synch the vision of both eyes. I sat in a chair for eight hours a day waiting for something to happen. My double vision was so irregular in near and far distances that I was losing the dimensionality of objects. My brain had enough memory to supply information, but the physicality of objects was vanishing. At the same time, any movement that I was able to do with my fragmented eye muscle was liberating, albeit painful, like peeling duct tape off of flesh. And all of a sudden it happened. I was waiting with my sister at the Atocha train station in Madrid, and without any warning, without any expectation I found it. In a tiny spot, a foot away from me, 15º up from my nose, my vision melded. I started to dance making circles around my sister and to move my head back and forth to locate this little dot of synchronicity; as I recreated in the video performance Untitled (this is not a circle). The impossibility and the desire to see transformed into an alchemical freedom, into an unphysical detachment. It was a dizzying moment contained by a certain impossible possibility of seeing the unseen: a tingling, a thrill, and a shocking tremble. Public domain videos can be downloaded and shared with others as long as the authorship is credited and there is a link back to the website of the author. These videos cannot be altered in any way or used for commercial purpose nor cannot be displayed or exhibited without the consent of the artist © Ivana Larrosa